ok seriously..that is it! I hate my life! ok what did I do to deserve this? did'nt hurt anyone..or anything..I did not! oh god ...boy I'm breaking down! I don't even where or how to start anymore... SSP sucks! fuck u like damn it! I used to have a perfect life! owh like how many times do i have to repeat this! a teen life any teenager wants,a boy who loves me(no affence elly or wan--I'm just saying..my Allah bless you guys--whtever) awesome friends, family..and so much more to offer! If only I haven't filled that form..that fucking form...for sure...my life is much better.. If only I didn't gave them hope...showed them how I wanted to go there..before I even knew it...my life will be much better! I don't mind having nothing...being the normal girl..normal..not special...being with a normal crowd.been called a regular...I don't mind! but no...they wanted more for me! gave me this gave me that! but really..seriously...I don't! please...I'll give back my stuff my luxury...please...take it...I don't want it! WHAT I WANT IS HAPPINESS. do you think I am happy? do you really think so?! Is it being in a concrete wall give you any happiness?! tell me! tell me! I hate it there! people there just seems to think they're all that..! I try forgetting everything..let alone my old life! move on! but everytime I do...they just ruin it! I've tried joining theater..I've tried doing more so I can get out more...see the world...but look..I got blame for something I didn't do! I got lacture everytime for doing the right thing...I got turn on just by being me...the girl I used to be outside of SSP...me. well u'r right amir..maybe i did change..a lot.
all of this really hurts...but it never hurts me every single day just by being me a regular, normal person.
I used to have 365 days a year...
but now...
I just have 90 days...
xoxo,
yana
No comments:
Post a Comment