Definition: : The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
I think we rarely do that anymore fearing that it would just consume us from the now. I know I seldom do it. But, it is not for the normal reasons. I feel they are my special motivation. I would not want to wear them off by revisiting them one-too-many times.
Standing outside the ward of my still unconscious great grandmother, looking at my dad, his mother and mine crying, it strikes me again; how important it is to revisit those memories. If I can see those flashbacks going off all of their heads, I can tell you they would look like fireworks going across the sky, although without the noise and lights. Probably, just sad projections of beautiful memories that could possibly just be memories from now.
I was at the most uncomfortable position that I will never wanted to be. In a hospital with patients strapped in with wires and everything just feels... ephemeral. Brief. When all everyone in the room wants is another lifetime more. Soaked with dry tears and hand sanitisers. I can feel guilt creeping up on me. Guilt of not appreciating what I have until it is almost gone. And I know for a second that is what everyone in that room feels too.
When do we say it is okay to put life first before the people we love? Especially the ones that have given us so much? When can we say 'we all still have a lot to live for' or 'we got time'?
Life is nothing but short.
Do what we must to make everything counts.
